Thursday, May 28, 2009

Give us this day...

It's 11:45 p.m. and I haven't written my blog about today's scripture passage yet. My commitment to this process includes my determination not to be haphazard or half-hearted about what I write, yet honesty compels me to admit I'm weary and tired today and might miss something special if I proceed or forge ahead with new verses. For that reason, I am re-reading the prior day's verses and camping out with Psalm 139, one of the most beautiful chapters in all of scripture.

For almost two weeks now I've been focused on my dad's recovery from a serious accident. Honestly, when I first saw him in the Emergency Room after his fall, I wasn't certain he'd pull through. I've since told him that it's definite that God isn't finished with him yet because he missed a really good chance to die on May 16.

Daddy will have many difficult days ahead. He will require medication to ease his pain, assistance walking, and physical therapy--but he is here--and for that I give God thanks and praise.

Yesterday's scriptures included Psalm 139. The words of David convey the truth of God's intimate knowledge of us, and it is through this knowledge that my Dad is being repaired and restored for the work He has for him as Daddy continues to walk by faith in the One who heals.

My Dad was released from the hospital tonight. I have always believed in miracles, but truly, today, I've witnessed one. God is knitting Dad back together again and allowing us the privilege of continued fellowship this side of eternity. All praise and honor to The One who made the delicate, inner parts of our body and can remake them when they are broken!

Psalm 139:
13 You made all the delicate, inner parts of my body
and knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 Thank you for making me so wonderfully complex!
Your workmanship is marvelous—how well I know it.
15 You watched me as I was being formed in utter seclusion,
as I was woven together in the dark of the womb.
16 You saw me before I was born.
Every day of my life was recorded in your book.
Every moment was laid out
before a single day had passed.
17 How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
18 I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
And when I wake up,
you are still with me!

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

Being his bride...

Thirty years ago today, I was a bride. I was young, naive, and in many ways ignorant--but I knew one thing, I loved my groom.

As I consider the blessings of my marriage, one of the greatest is probably the fact that it is so hard to believe that this many years have passed. It is surreal actually, to think that we have been together for more years than we lived separately.

In the ceremony uniting us, the words, "the two shall become one," sounded nice, but really meant little more to me than the idea of sharing things--a house, a car, bills, a bed. Thirty years later, they mean so much more.

We are two yet one. We have discovered that becoming one means we value the strengths we've come to depend on in the other, and we remain devoted in spite of the individual weaknesses we battle. We have honored the covenant commitment we made in 1979, and we refused to give up when the going got tough. We held on to the promise of better days when the days were dark, and we celebrated the joys of wonderful moments that sometimes took us by surprise.

I have come to believe that our enemy hates marriage and labors to destroy all of them that he can. He uses tactics that are as old as Methuselah, but his batting average is way too high.

As I reflect on the years of our marriage, I know there is just one reason we've defied the odds--Jesus Christ. Ecclesiastes 4:12 says that a chord of three strands is not easily broken. Christ has been the glue that has secured our marriage, ensuring its success. He is the third strand (and the most important one) in the chord that has become "us".

Today's verses, 1 Chronicles 23 through 25, Psalms 108, 109,110, 131, 138, 139, 143, 144, and 145 are all inspirational and informational, but I will close by highlighting Psalm 139, a Psalm of David that reminds me that my life is not my own--it was planned and purposed by God--and if I live to be 100 and have thirty more wedding anniversaries, I will never be able to thank Him enough for giving me a glimpse of what it means to be His bride through the privilege of being George's.

Psalm 139:
1 O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
2 You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
3 You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
4 You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
5 You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
6 Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!

Monday, May 25, 2009

Daddy today...

For my friends who are checking this blog for updates on Daddy, I'm thrilled to say that he continues to improve. He still has a journey ahead and the prayer requests remain the same:

Compassionate, exceptional, mistake-free care
No infections or pneumonia
Healing of bones, bruises, and breaks--especially his back pain.

Unless there are significant developments or changes, I will only be posting updates on facebook from here on out and will resume my attempt to blog daily at this site as I try to write about my daily reading of the Bible in order of its historical chronology for my grandchildren.

Thank you for your love and prayers for Daddy. Your concern is precious to our family.

Following, listening, leading...

You might be a leader if:
You are visionary.
You are motivated.
You can motivate.
You are determined.
You are tenacious.
You are wise.
You are trustworthy.
You can communicate convincingly with integrity.
You are honest.
You are dependable.
You are undaunted.

and...
You know when to follow.

Today's passages are difficult. 2 Samuel 24 and 1 Chronicles 21-22 and Psalm 30 are scriptures that include the account of David's decision to take a census, something that clearly defied God's stated principle of Exodus 30--the one that explained God's ownership of his people and prohibited men from counting what does not belong to them unless instructed to do so by God.

In these verses, Joab, one of David's men, tactfully questioned David's decision and even hinted that his motivation might be pride, but David did not listen to Joab. Nor would he listen to the Captains of his Armies as they warned him against taking the census.

David's men followed their leader's instructions despite their concerns, and the process took almost ten months. When it was finally complete, David's heart condemned him--suddenly, he recognized the seriousness of the choice he'd made. He confessed his sin to God and learned that in spite of God's willingness to forgive him, there would still be grave consequences to pay for his actions. I'm sure that when David ordered the census, he never dreamed it would cause the loss of 70,000 lives.

Scripture is clear, David was an amazing and gifted leader. Many of the wonderful qualities required of great leaders were exhibited in his life, and we know that he was a man after God's own heart--so what went wrong in these chapters?

David fell prey to the peril of pride and when given the opportunity to avoid the pitfalls that accompanied the sin, he arrogantly pressed on with his plan.

My prayer for you my sweet ones is that if you are ever in a position of leadership you remember this very important lesson from scripture. No leader is infallible. No leader is guaranteed a perfect record. No leader is always right all of the time.

If God allows you to lead, He will also surround you with people who have strengths that you don't possess in order to help you see your blind spots. It's at those times that you will be wise to listen--and then become--the follower.

God never leads us to do anything that contradicts His Word and He will never fail to provide a way of escape when we are tempted by our flesh, whether by pride, egotism, lust, greed, or any other weakness, to make the wrong choice.

A great leader doesn't just lead, she also knows when to follow.

David was forgiven for his sin, but his refusal to follow the advice of his trusted companions resulted in tragedy.

Heavenly Father, help us be willing to listen and follow as we learn to lead by following the only perfect example--our Lord, Jesus Christ.

Friday, May 22, 2009

Friday...

The only explanation for Dad's amazing progress is prayer. When I first reported his accident, I honestly believed that his injuries were life altering and that he would be completely bed ridden for weeks or months.

Today, he walked a few steps with a walker, and although he still has serious pain all over his body, he is pushing through the agony with the same stubborn determination that landed him in the hospital in the first place.

He (and all of us) thank you for your faith-filled prayers. There is no doubt in my mind that God has honored the requests that have been lifted and I trust that we will continue to marvel at the amazing healing grace He is giving my Dad.

Thursday, May 21, 2009

Thursday...

One day soon I will resume my Bible blogging--Lord willing. Until then, for those who are checking in to see how Dad is doing, I have wonderful news tonight.

After a rough morning, he had a good afternoon and hopefully is resting well this evening. We had some good conversation today when he was awake and he even attempted to be funny a couple of times. I do emphasize the word "attempted" here--but it was wonderful to see him smile and chuckle.

If you pray for him, please join me in asking The Lord to give him compassionate, exceptional care and to protect him from infection, and then send up some praise for the answered prayer we've already experienced. We will forever be grateful for your love and concern.

Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Wednesday Update

Dad was moved to a regular room today so we are very hopeful that the next phase of his treatment will be as excellent as the care he received in CVMC's Intensive Care Unit.

The only serious concern today was that his blood sugar dropped significantly enough that he was unable to communicate. Initially, not knowing what was going on, Mom thought it was a stroke--so we are very thankful that it was something easily treated. The fact that he really hasn't eaten since before the accident and had a scary episode this afternoon should encourage them to monitor him more carefully from here on out.

We continue to ask for your prayers and appreciate each and every one of you who takes a moment to lift him in prayer.

Father, bless our faithful pray-ers and make them know how grateful we are for them and for their love. In Jesus' Name. Amen.

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Daddy today...

Dad slept most of the day, but when he was awake he did a great job cooperating with the respiratory therapist as he endured the painful breathing machine routine. He also tried to eat a little jello, but that wasn't too successful.

The prayer needs remain the same--

*Exceptional, compassionate, mistake-free care
*No ileus
*No pneumonia
*The ability to forgive himself

He is our hero and a trooper. Our family thanks each person who has taken the time to pray. We are humbled and grateful beyond words.

Monday, May 18, 2009

Quick Dad Update...

Thank you to all who have prayed and will pray for my dad. Today, he is very quiet and has been heavily sedated. He has expressed some anger though (at himself) for the decision he made to trim the tree via the ladder.

My request is that you join me in praying that he doesn't develop ileus (a temporary paralysis of part of the intestines) which is a big risk factor, and also that he doesn't get pneumonia. Also, please ask The Lord to help him forgive himself.

Those who are caring for him have been wonderful and are doing everything they can to make him comfortable. We are so grateful for them, for your prayers and for God's mercy.

Saturday, May 16, 2009

Pray for Dad...

As this day draws to a close, I'm asking anyone who reads this note to pray for my dad. Today, he decided to climb a ladder to "shape-up" a wayward Bradford Pear that was "on his nerves". Unfortunately, my mother wasn't at home when he decided to do his tree trimming.

When Dad didn't answer her phone call as she headed home from my house, Mom persisted, finally reaching him, but quickly realizing that he wasn't making sense.

To make a very long story short, he was on an eight foot ladder when he took a terrible tumble that has resulted in three broken ribs, a broken shoulder, a concussion, a possibly/probably broken left thumb and some internal blood loss.

He has been given plasma and blood and is holding his own (he is tough) but the next few days will be critical for him. I am posting this blog tonight despite exhaustion because I wanted to say that my dad is a gift--this man who is in so much pain that it is almost unbearable even with the large doses of morphine they are giving him, could not let us leave his bedside without telling each of us what we mean to him and how fervently he prays for us and our families every day--several times a day.

What a blessing to be prayed for like this--I will never be able to thank God enough for an earthly dad who loves and prays so consistently, and now, I am praying for him and hoping you will join me in asking God to wrap His arms around my sweet, stubborn daddy, giving him exceptional, compassionate medical care.

Thank you!
Love,
Sandy

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Blog-in problems...

I mentioned last week that I might not be able to post daily for the next couple of weeks, but I wanted to let those who checked in Tuesday and Wednesday know that I have had technical trouble with blogger/blogspot.

Today it seems to be working again, so hopefully the glitch is remedied permanently. I've written a new post below for my grandgirls--all three of them--the two who are already born and the little girl who will join the family in October! Please pray for Nichole and David as they await the birth of their first daughter.

and...be blessed tonight!

Soli Deo Gloria,
Sandy

Tremble time...

When I was a child, things were different. It was generally accepted by the media and society that there was one God and that it would be wise to make at least some attempt to find out what He expects of us, what He is like and how to stay on His good side.

Today, things have changed. I just listened to a news report that was practically celebrated by the mainstream media stating that atheism is on the rise. I also just heard a well-known news celebrity report that as he was listening in to a conference call among CBS execs who were deliberating what to cover the next day, someone mentioned that a prominent Christian leader would be in Washington by stating: "That nutty Christian so-in-so is in town...".

The man who shared this information pointed out that it would be professional suicide to say, "That nutty gay activist so-in-so," or "that nutty ACLU attorney," etc., and yet it is generally considered fine to express disdain, hostility, disapproval or prejudice toward people of Christian faith.

It really is sad, because as I have said before, I think it requires tremendous faith to believe that everything is random and accidental rather than the product of an Intelligent Designer who knows, sees and cares about His creation.

Today's verses, Psalm 95, 97, 98 and 99, all provide beautiful examples of the kind of faith that God "gifts" those who seek Him.

Listen to these words from Psalm 95:
3 For the Lord is a great God,
a great King above all gods.
4 He holds in his hands the depths of the earth
and the mightiest mountains.
5 The sea belongs to him, for he made it.
His hands formed the dry land, too.
6 Come, let us worship and bow down.
Let us kneel before the Lord our maker,
7 for he is our God.
We are the people he watches over,
the flock under his care.
If only you would listen to his voice today!
8 The Lord says, “Don’t harden your hearts...


We have a choice, we can harden our hearts and turn away from the One who loves us most, or we can seek and find Him, receiving the gift of faith that leads to our salvation in Christ.

As it continues to be politically and socially acceptable to ridicule people of faith, I pray for you my precious grandchildren, that you will take courage, stand firm on the foundation cannot be shaken, walk by faith and not by sight and then pray for those who ignorantly mock us with the pity they deserve because they are wandering in the wilderness of the lost.

When we have tasted and seen that The Lord is good (Psalm 34:8) what other choice are we to consider?

Psalm 99: 1~ The Lord is king! Let the nations tremble!

Monday, May 11, 2009

My Mysterious God...

Psalm 5,38,41-42 and 57, along with 2 Samuel 22-23 all provide amazing insight and convicting reminders of what set David apart as leader and king.

There are so many things to be discovered by studying David's life. In today's passage, words that were spoken by this king who was a man after God's own heart are recorded. So why was he so distinguished? What made him special?

From his earliest days, David yearned to know more of God, he confessed complete dependence upon Him, he wanted to please The Lord, and he always repented when he sinned. Never diminishing or minimizing his wrong actions, David was contrite, humble and broken when he realized he had grieved His Heavenly Father.

2 Samuel 23 includes some of the last recorded words spoken by David, and in the chapter David also acknowledged that although he had failed to be a perfect king, God never fails to be our Perfect King. David was well aware that his earthly reign missed the mark of perfection, yet the everlasting covenant that God had made with him was based on God's grace rather than David's performance.

What a comfort to remember this truth--it isn't up to us to "keep" God, God keeps us through his covenant in Christ Jesus our Lord. We will never get it all together, we will never be perfect, but God honors his commitment to us based on His faithfulness, not ours.

I've explained God's saving grace to my children like this before--

If they ever decided that they wanted to "disown" me as their mother, they could--but that would never change the fact that they are my flesh and blood, they are my children. And they will never stop being my children, no matter what--it isn't within their power to sever the bond that makes me biologically, genetically, and even emotionally their mother. Even more important than all that maybe, is the fact that there is nothing they could do to make me ever stop loving them or wanting to be in relationship with them. There are things my children can control...but being my children is not one of them.

In a similar way, once we receive God as Father through believing faith in Jesus, His Son, we are sealed in a covenant, blood-bought relationship with Him and kept by His faithfulness, not ours. And as Paul reminds us, that should never be considered a license to sin, and we certainly shouldn't take for granted so great a sacrifice, but it does relieve us of the pressure to perform and frees us to love and adore.

And that, for me, is one of the most beautiful mysteries of God.

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Capable hands...

Vindication that requires no personal effort or manipulation is so satisfying. Remember Shimei? He was the guy who threw stones at David as he cursed and made false accusations against him.

In today's passages, 2 Samuel 19-21, David secures the throne after Absalom's death, and is accompanied by thousands of exuberant followers when he is met by Shimei, who now begs David to forgive him. Shimei confessed that he had grievously sinned against David and then fell at his feet begging for mercy.

What a beautiful picture of God's grace David demonstrated. David could have said, "Off with his head!" and instantly, his mighty men would have executed Shimei. But again, David wouldn't listen to any advice that conflicted with what he knew God would have him do--which was to forgive his enemy.

This story begs the question--when we fail to forgive, is it possible that it's because we are insecure or unsure of our position in Christ? King David was secure. He was confident and aware that God had given him the throne. As a result, he didn't seek to vindicate himself--he just left matters in the more capable hands of The Lord.

I am praying that God will help me leave matters in his much more capable hands so that I can see him work things out for His glory and my good rather than settling for the temporary and brief satisfaction of a coerced or insincere apology.

Thank you Father that you work all things together for the good of those who love you and are the called according to your purposes. You are great, mighty and amazing.

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mother Matters...

There is no perfect mother because there is no perfect person. There are however, great mothers--and I am blessed to be the daughter of one of the greatest.

It isn't possible to repay someone who sacrifices so much for your benefit, nor is it likely that words on a page (no matter how illustrative) can accurately or adequately express the depth of my appreciation for all she has done for me.

But truth be told, I know her well enough to know that if I did write the perfect prose or craft a stirring soliloquy to convey my admiration and love, she would blush, and with genuine humility would announce the praise undeserved.

So, I found something on the web that I think summarizes the sentiment I'd wish to share with my own mother and all the women in my life (my precious daughter included) who are doing the things that devoted moms do every day. This song and video poignantly explains that when you are blessed to have a wonderful mom, life is full of "best days"--

Thank you Mama--and thank you Moms. There is no greater challenge or privilege than having the opportunity to influence a life. Happy Mother's Day!

Friday, May 8, 2009

Sincerely. Love, Sandy

What proves that we truly, honestly, genuinely love someone?

Yesterday, I was asked by a friend who is desperately in love with someone who has left him how he could demonstrate the depth of his love so that she might understand how much he cares for her. He wanted to be certain that he wrote the right things and avoided writing anything that might seem manipulative or contrived.

What a precious thing it is to be truly loved. For thirty years I have been married, and today, I love my husband more than I ever imagined I could or would. We have been through trials, troubles, tests and triumphs--all the while trusting that we could count on each other to be there for encouragement, empathy, sympathy and loyalty.

Hopefully, if you asked my husband, he would say that he knows I love him because I demonstrate my love for him tangibly--just as he does in return. We are allies, we are confidants, we are friends.

A lot of people say they love God's Son, Jesus Christ. Today, I want to ask you to consider whether the love you claim to have for him is evidenced by your choices, decisions, words and actions. This is the question I am asking myself as I read the passages of scripture that continue my journey through the Bible.

Psalm 26, 40, 58, 61-62, and 64 are songs written by King David in the midst of persecution and assaults. He cried out to God, expressing his fear, his trust, his love and his praise as one who realized that his life depended on God's provision and protection.

I have asked myself today if what I say, the way I live and the things I value confirm the love I profess for my Savior. I am convicted by the awareness that there are days I neglect my time with him, sending up little more than a flippant prayer and a thankful blessing at mealtime--and yet he gives me my very next breath.

David loved God and he proved it time and again in by his actions and through the songs and prayers that were in his heart. I hope these verses, along with my friend's request for help as he worked to craft a letter that would convey the depth of his love and devotion for his sweetheart, will serve to remind me that I owe my Lord Jesus nothing less than careful, genuine, deliberate honor if I want to demonstrate that my love for him is sincere.

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Learning to listen...

"Sticks and stones may break my bones..."

That was the first line of the little rhyme we said as children when someone taunted us. In today's scriptures, 2 Samuel chapters 16 through 18, David endures cursing, conniving, scheming and threats.

As I read these verses, I tried to imagine myself in his shoes and compare what my reaction would likely have been to the way David responded.

When Shimei, a relative of Saul's, cursed and threw stones at him, David made no attempt to shut him up, nor would he allow his mighty men to squelch the jeers, because he was willing to hear what God might have to say to him--even if via a swearing enemy.

Ironically, the very things that Shimei accused David of were proven untrue by his restraint and refusal to retaliate. Had David been the person he was accused of being, Shimei's story would have ended with his death. Instead, David allowed him to rant with rage because he realized that God was completely capable of silencing him.

I struggle with the desire to defend myself when I feel assaulted. This passage reminds me that I can trust God even at times like these--and if I stop, listen and resist the urge to react in the flesh, I may even learn something that I genuinely need to know.

One of my desires is that I learn to listen--to hear what God has to say to me even if it comes from critics or criticism, taunts or jeers. I am confident that if I pray--asking God for discernment and wisdom, He will faithfully allow me to see the timber beam in my own eye if that is my need.

I love The Amplified Bible's translation of Matthew 7: 3-5:

3 Why do you stare from without at the very small particle that is in your brother's eye but do not become aware of and consider the beam of timber that is in your own eye? 4 Or how can you say to your brother, Let me get the tiny particle out of your eye, when there is the beam of timber in your own eye? 5 You hypocrite, first get the beam of timber out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the tiny particle out of your brother's eye.

It doesn't get much clearer than this--sometimes, I am wrong. Sometimes, I am the problem. In David's case, he was innocent of the accusations made by Shimei--yet he was willing to consider that he might need to hear something from God--and he recognized that arrogant refusal to listen could be costly.

Father, help me die to my flesh when it screams to be validated or vindicated. Give me eyes to see and ears to hear so that when I need to admit that I'm wrong, I'll be willing-- and please forgive me for all my past failures to do just that.

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

He hears me...

What a joy it's been to get away for a few days to laugh, reflect, reconnect and revel in the blessing of family. The beach trip with my mother and sisters was perfect in every sense.

As I attempt to get back into the mode of writing about my impressions of each day's scripture passage, I will confess that I almost feel sinful to have missed the last few days, despite the fact that I know it was better to wait until I could prayerfully concentrate and thoughtfully consider the text.

They say that it takes thirty days for anything to become a habit, so when I passed that mark, having written consecutively each day, I felt compelled to continue--sometimes in habit mode rather than happy mode.

Make no mistake, I am always happy to read The Word, reflect on The Word and consider its implications for my life, but investing the time to write about it every day has been one of the most challenging endeavors of my life.

For this reason, and because my beloved (George) and I are planning an anniversary trip/birthday trip sometime in the near future, I will allow myself some flexibility now, but I will write each day if my schedule permits.

Today's verses again took me to the Psalms, specifically to passages written by David. I find it very encouraging to glimpse his heart as he experienced tremendous highs and abysmal lows because he is so transparent and honest. Chapters 3-4,12-13, 28, and 55 continue my chronological investigation of scripture, and they record David's praise and love for God, as well as his despair and discouragement as he fled from his own son, Absalom, and faced many enemies and trials.

Reading through the Psalms reminds me that the things that are troubling to me today are merely repackaged woes of the past--and our God (who never changes) cares, loves, protects and delivers those who cry out to Him for forgiveness and mercy.

What a blessing to discover that even King David experienced times of utter despair and defeat--and yet the same compassionate Heavenly Father who heard his cries, hears mine, too.

Monday, May 4, 2009

The Stinky Stench of Retaliation...

You know that I have blogged about revenge (and the warnings from God's Word that we should resist the urge to take matters into our own hands when it comes to vengeance) but my two sisters were unable to resist the temptation to retaliate for the beach spider incident that I wrote about in the prior entry.

So, for those who'd like to hear the rest of the story, here goes...

After they realized that the spider story was a hoax, I knew they were plotting against me. I fully expected a fake spider in the bed or something like that. What I did not anticipate was what they actually came up with and this will require a little background information, so bear with me.

When she arrived ahead of us at the beach, Lisa went to a complex called Ocean Marsh II because that's what her friend who owned the condo we were borrowing said it was called. Lisa's friend (who apparently has numerous beach condos here, there and everywhere--including the Bahamas) couldn't recall the condo room number, she only knew that it was the one to the right when you get off the elevator on the second floor.

Poor Lisa couldn't get into any of the second floor condos at Ocean Marsh II, so she walked next door to Ocean Marsh I, went to the second floor, and voila, the key fit the condo to the right. We had shared quite a few chuckles over the fact that the owner didn't know which complex her condo was in--and that is where their retaliation plot was born.

Saturday night (after a full day of sun and evening of shopping) we rented "Slumdog Millionaire" and returned to the condo to watch it. As we were changing clothes into our pj's, Lisa said that she'd left the DVD in the car and needed to run back downstairs to get it. Kathie, not wanting her to go alone (supposedly) accompanied her.

Once we all settled on to the massive sectional sofa in front of the television (about 10 p.m.) and started the video, a woman burst into the condo with luggage in tow, stared at us in horror, then started shouting, "Who are you? What are you doing in MY condo? I'm calling the police!!!" To say this gal was hysterical is an understatement. It was like a Jerry Springer outburst--she could not be reasoned with or calmed down. She was yelling that it was her house and she needed us to leave immediately.

Poor Mama--she was sitting there eating her popcorn saying, "Calm down, honey, it was an honest mistake, we'll leave just calm down!"

Lisa and Kathie were both making similar comments, but this very upset woman was determined to dial 911 as she fought back her tears.

At that point, I grabbed my cell phone, stood up, and said, "Wait a second, I'll call 911 for you! You just need to chill out! We'll leave if we have to, but let's be reasonable here!"

When I started to dial 911, that's when Kathie and Lisa cracked up. They had conned this poor stranger into storming the condo and pitching that fit. It was the revenge of the spider-women. They got me, but what's worse, they got poor, innocent Mama. They should be ashamed.

In conclusion, if two middle-aged women you don't know ever approach you in a parking lot and ask you to help them as they plot against their sister--remember that the sister might end up calling the police on YOU--and just say no!




This will be my final blog about the beach trip and I will resume my Bible chronology tomorrow, so I will conclude with a photo of the matching tattoos we all got in honor of our very memorable vacation.

Saturday, May 2, 2009

Just Beachy...



For several reasons this weekend, I have experienced blog fog, so I will not try to engage in important or serious blogging while on vacation with my crazy family ever again.

As I reread Friday night's entry, it became clear to me that it was not exactly what I'd want to say about the passage, so I will edit it later when my head is clear and my brain is back in non-vacation mode--and maybe then I will also have reliable internet access.

I will, however, use the quiet of this morning to tell a little about the events of my trip with my mother and sisters so far. (They are all still sleeping and I have been awake reading, thinking and listening as the waves crash against the shore--one of my favorite sounds.)

This trip was arranged and orchestrated by Lisa and me as a birthday gift to ourselves (we all share birthdays within weeks of each other) but specifically to our middle sister Kathie. It's pretty sad to say that it's taken all these years for us to make a trip like this, but an eye opening trip it has been. I have learned things this weekend that I never knew, never imagined, and will never be quite the same as a result of. (Yes, I realize it's incorrect (technically) to end a sentence with a preposition, Steven, but it works for me!)

So, here are a few of the highlights so far. I will not blog again until I return to a place that is more conducive to serious contemplation--home, but for those wondering where my blog went, this may explain...

I decided before leaving Charlotte that this trip would somehow be less than it could be without a really good practical joke, so I came up with a last minute idea that worked wonderfully. I copied the North Myrtle Beach logo from a website and wrote a bulletin from the Horry County Department of Health and Public Safety that warned of four dangerous and endangered species of spiders that had been displaced as a result of the recent devastating wildfires. (Here are the spiders I listed):

Acanthogonatus francki: the Bronze Tiger Rump
Acanthoscurria geniculata: Giant White Knee
Ephebopus cyanoganathus: Blue Fang
and the
Acanthoscurria natalensis: Brown Bird Eater

The notice instructed anyone who saw one of these spiders (I included a small picture of each one at the bottom of the bulletin) not to kill it, but to dial 311 immediately so that an Animal Control officer could be dispatched to capture it.

I placed the notice under the door of our condominium as if it had been left overnight, and that is when the fun began. All day long, my sisters (who were understandably a little freaked out when they saw the spider photos) looked for spiders. Their reactions were better than I could ever have hoped, and the conversations and quotes that came out of their mouths can only be described as classic.

My idea was initially generated by a gag gift I'd purchased for David last year. He hates spiders. Loathes them. So naturally when I saw a giant remote controlled tarantula at Target, I bought it for him--and of course, it came to the beach with me.


I will mention here that I let my mother in on my plan so that the sighting of the ginormous arachnid would not cause her to suffer a heart attack.

Kathie and Lisa took a stroll down the beach yesterday morning, and when they returned, they mentioned to mom and me that they thought for a moment that they'd spotted a big brown bird eater (or something like that).

Mom and I searched for the perfect hiding place for the tarantula and decided that the already slightly opened case of water was our spot. I placed "Tara" in the case and waited--and my only regret is that I do not have video footage of the ensuing chain of events.

Last night, as we were preparing to eat a bite of supper before heading out to see a show, Lisa stuck her hand in the water bottle package to put more bottles in the refrigerator. I am now no longer actually considered her sister--but I am considered other things that I will not mention in this blog. But, it was worth it. I do not think I've ever laughed so hard in my entire life at the remarks, comments, and reactions that transpired as a result of their realization that the whole scheme was a prank. This is one for the family (or ex-family) history books.

After the spider incident, we went to a show called "Good Vibrations" that was a flashback musical trip down memory lane featuring some exceptionally talented artists who sang and danced their way through the big hits and genres of the 60's, 70's, and 80's. More entertaining than the show, however, were my two sisters. Being the oldest, I apparently missed A LOT having gotten married and moved away before their teenaged years drew to a close. I will simply state that these two 'girls' are more fun to watch than any stage show. When the KISS impersonators came onstage singing, "Rock and Roll All Night" I wasn't sure who these girls were.

Okay, I'm going to stop now before they kick me out early and send me packing. I don't think I can do much more harm though, but making this public might get me taken out of their wills as possible guardian of their children should they meet an untimely demise--and since I really do love their kids, I'm going to try to find a way to make it all up to them today.

So, I'll be back later (Lord willing) and continue the Bible blog--I just can't do it while I'm with my sisters at the beach.

Love,
Nana