Wednesday, June 15, 2011

His Big Mysteries...

This morning's devotional reading (1 Kings 13) sparked quite a bit of contemplation today regarding God's mysterious ways and purposes. 

A "man of God" (prophet) died in this passage because he believed and acted on a lie told to him by another "man of God" resulting in what seemed to be his exceptionally cruel demise. 

Let's face it, there are some things in the Bible that make you go, huh? Really?  Why? I call these things S.U.'s-- Sovereignty Unsolvables.  To me, they are reminders that God is big, He has big ways, and I'm never going to understand some of them this side of eternity.

Today, just as when this passage was written, things happen that don't make sense. Kids get cancer. Tornadoes level homes. Terrorists bomb. Cars crash. Mud slides. Fires rage. Wickedly evil people prosper. And we scratch our heads, cry...and look up.

Recently, a friend and I had a conversation about her friend who struggles spiritually because she just cannot completely trust a God who would allow awful things to happen. It seems my friend's friend endured a secret  horror that haunts her every day, making it reportedly impossible for her to reconcile how God allowed "it" to happen if he is "good".

That conversation prompted me to think about what the world would be like if God did prevent every sickness, kill every terrorist, evil person and child molester before they victimized anyone, redirect traffic so that no collisions or accidents ever happened, keep all populated areas free from floods, muds, damaging winds, and waves. What if He made this one big happy, problem-free planet? Who among us would ever look up?  (By the way, He did that originally, it was called the Garden of Eden and "we" blew it!)  But for the sake of this subject, if things were still garden perfect thanks to him, we'd probably rarely give him a grateful nod. I'm guessing we'd be so wrapped up in our good lives that we'd do what we're prone to do anyway--forget or ignore. 

My husband and I brought children into this world. To the best of our ability we nurtured them, provided for them, and protected them. And not to pat ourselves on the back or anything, but we sacrificed for them. We didn't always do what they wanted us to do, but we always did what we believed was best for them, and sometimes, that was painful--to them and to us. Today though, they are people we love spending time with and it is almost unbearable to imagine having a broken relationship with either of them.

I have to believe that the great and awesome God who created us (and loves us more than we can fathom) feels that way about us. In His sovereignty He acts and reacts according to what is ultimately best (in a big picture kind of way that we may never understand this side of heaven). In spite of the bad things that happen because this world is in a fallen state (of our own doing) one thing is certain according to scripture: He wants each of His children to experience the love and healing He offers that can overcome every tragedy and travesty associated with our sin-stained world.

In this life, there are (and will always be) unaswered whys and unhappy endings, but there is one more big S.U. that proves our God is good--all the time. He gave a Sacrifice Unrivaled when He sent His Son, Jesus, to pay the price for our sin. His own son suffered a cruel demise to give us (for free) eternal life. What an amazing, undeserved gift!

Today, I am thankful for a sovereign Lord who knows best, loves most and is big enough to allow me to ask questions and admit that there are things I don't like sometimes. His big mysteries are a part of a bigger plan that works for the good (sometimes eternal rather than temporal good -Romans 8:28-) of everyone who loves him.

Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Happy Birthday Daddy!

June 2, 2011--my Yahoo calendar just messaged me saying that it's your birthday, Dad.  It doesn't realize you're gone--that your first "heavenly birthday" has arrived, so it sent me a nice "reminder email".

I'm not gonna lie, this is hard and I'm sad. And even though I believe you wouldn't come back here if you could, I cannot let this occasion pass without writing a "card" to say what I would have told you in 2010 if I'd known it would be my last chance...so:

Daddy, when I think about the life you gave us in contrast to the life you had, I'm amazed.  I wish I'd told once more you how truly grateful I am for the sacrifices you made in order to assure that we enjoyed privileges that you never imagined as a little boy.

Thank you for loving me enough to teach me the importance of taking a stand for what is right.  Your unshakable determination to fight against injustice and evil in spite of criticism or condemnation was remarkable.  I wish I had half of your guts and grit and thick skinned gumption.

Thank you for being fearless and teaching me that it's dumb to waste time worrying about what I cannot control.  (flying in that little Cessna with you in the pilot seat did scare the bajookies out of me when you did those crazy maneuvers and loops, though, but what a fun Daddy you were!)

Thank you for telling me about life and love (and boys) when I didn't want to hear it (especially from you). I knew it was because of your protective love, but did I ever let you know I was (and am) grateful that you cared so much?

Thank you for making me believe that I should expect to be treated like a lady and with respect.  I married a man so much like you (because of you) and I am eternally thankful for the life we've had together.

Thank you for becoming a caring listener and developing genuinely unconditional love as your spiritual life deepened. The kindness and support you showed to me and my family during some really tough times will never be forgotten.

Thank you for being generous and giving us things that we took for granted and failed to say "thanks" for.

Thank you for modeling the importance of life-long learning.  Your ever-increasing knowledge about so many things when you could have been content to rest your brain was inspiring and is challenging!

Thank you for loving my g-babies so much even when your health was declining and you felt terrible.  This afternoon, A & L were talking about Paw Paw! You probably had no idea how much those little ones adored you and I hate they won't get to know you apart from the stories we will tell--but trust me, there are many stories and they will hear them!

Thank you for praying fervently and faithfully for me and my family.  There have been numerous times over the past several months that I've so wished I could call and ask you to pray about specific things.  The knowledge that you were always faithful to storm heaven's gates for me whenever I called in a 911 request was a priceless gift!

Finally, thank you for teaching me how to die. The dignity you demonstrated during your final days of life still overwhelms me every day.  When I think of you in that hospital, the way you accepted with courage and peaceful faith the diagnosis and prognosis you were given, I'm blown away with admiration for you.  You are my hero and that will never change Dad, so in closing, I know that you and your brothers, sisters, friends and loved ones are having the celebration to end all celebrations as you experience the joys of eternal life and the rewards of His salvation! Have fun--and I'll see you later!

I love you and I miss you every day.

Happy Birthday!

Your Eldest,
s~