Sunday, January 18, 2009

Nothing Can Compete with the One Who Can Complete...

Recently, it dawned on me that yesterday is today tomorrow. As I write about today's scripture, I can only hope that on one of the tomorrow's in the future, you will take to heart the priceless nuggets found in these chapters.

Genesis 25 through 29 includes the accounts of Rebekah's delivery of twin sons (Jacob and Esau); Jacob's betrayal of Isaac (he stole his brother Esau's blessing after already having stolen his birthright); and his flight from Canaan to escape his brother's threat of retaliation in the form of murder. Genesis, which means beginnings or origins, doesn't conceal the dirty deeds of some of history's early characters, nor are words minced with regard to the shenanigans they engaged in.

In order to escape his brother's murderous plans (and follow his parent's instructions not to marry a Canaanite woman) Jacob went to Paddan-Aram, to his Uncle Laban's house. There, he met the lovely young Rachel. The Bible explains that she was physically beautiful, but that she had an older sister Leah who wasn't so pretty.

Jacob agreed to work for Laban for seven years in order to win Rachel's hand in marriage, but Laban tricked Jacob on the wedding night, giving him Leah instead of Rachel. This story has always disturbed me in a, "this is really heartbreaking," sort of way--but not for Jacob, for Leah. You'd think the trickster Jacob who'd done something equally egregious to his own twin brother would have considered this his comeuppance so to speak. Instead, according to the scripture, he raged at Laban and asked why he'd tricked him.

He agreed to work seven more years for Rachel and was married to both women. Leah became pregnant and gave birth to four sons, each of whom were named according to the way she was feeling at the time of their births.

The first she named Reuben, signifying that The Lord had seen her misery and now her husband would love her. The second, Simeon, indicating that The Lord knew she was unloved and gave her another son. Her third son was named Levi, meaning that surely this time her husband would feel affection for her since she'd given him three sons. Finally, when her fourth son was born, she named him Judah, saying, "Now, I will praise The Lord."

There is nothing to indicate that Jacob was ever cruel to Leah, it was just obvious that he didn't passionately love her the same way he loved Rachel. And that hurt.

Leah hoped that bearing his children would compensate for whatever she lacked, but it didn't--and she finally accepted her helplessness to change that as indicated by the fourth son's name. Leah eventually redirected her focus from the desire to be loved by Jacob to her contentment with being loved by God.

When Leslie and David were teenagers and we talked about marriage, I gave them this advice: Don't marry someone you can live with, marry someone you can't live without. My hope for them was that they would have the sort of passionate connection with the person they married that Jacob had with Rachel (and vice versa).

I also shared with them that I believe it's best not to marry at all until they were where Leah was after her fourth child's arrival. So where was that? The "complete" place. That beautiful place where God is comforter, lover, provider, and source. Two halves don't make a whole--not in love and marriage at least. If you marry with the hope that your mate will make you whole, you are in for tremendous disappointment. Only God can do that. In him, there is fulfillment that another human cannot offer. Marriage is beautiful--but a person will not "complete" you. God alone does that. He did it for Leah, and he does it for each of us who will enter into a love relationship with him. Fall in love FIRST with the perfect lover. No love can compete with the one that will complete.

1 comment:

Nic Allen said...

Sandy - you keep amazing me. How fortunate your little ones are to have a grandmother who loves not just them, but more so, the God who made them! Here's what I have been messing with concerning Jacob and Esau for our RHCC Bible in a Year Blog. I always welcome your feedback and your dialogue. Thanks so much for your friendship.

Wading through the relationship between Jacob and Esau can be troublesome. We wonder why God would allow the promise he made to Abraham to be passed on via lies and trickery. Here are a few observations I made during my time with the twins.

1. In Genesis 25, something strange was happening. Rebekah was apparently experiencing something unique during pregnancy, something other women who had carried children couldn’t explain away. It caused her to seek answers from God. Well, answers she got. Genesis 25:23 says, “The LORD said to her, ‘Two nations are in your womb, and two peoples from within you will be separated; one people will be stronger than the other, and the older will serve the younger." God had gone against the grain and chosen the younger over the older, the weaker over the stronger. God chose. It stands to reason that Isaac would have been completely versed on two things in his lifetime: the promise God made to his dad (Abraham) and the prophetic word that God gave his wife (Rebekah). Yet, in his old age, he was prepared to give both the double portion of his estate to the elder of the twins, and also his blessing. Is Jacob’s deception justified by Isaac’s disobedience? No. But the plans and promises of God always outweigh the thoughts and ways of man.
2. A birthright and a blessing are not one in the same. A birthright was an extra portion of a father’s estate. Here’s what I learned about how that played out in the ancient world. If the dad had 2 sons, his estate would be divided into equal thirds. Two-thirds would go to the eldest son and one-third to the youngest son. If a dad had 5 sons, the estate would be then divided six ways with the extra portion going to son number one. It was an extra share of the family estate. The blessing was a word of prophecy and promise spoken over a son before a father died. It was a final “blessing” pronounced over the life of the son before the father passed on and could impart no more wisdom. The blessing was actually held in higher esteem than the inheritance.
3. Esau didn’t value his birthright. He told Jacob that he would trade him the extra portion of Isaac’s estate for a simple meal. That was a slap in the face to his dad and to Abraham and ultimately God who provided the widespread birthright in the first place. In Luke 15, Jesus tells a story of a son who disrespected his dad so much; he wanted his portion of the family estate before the dad even passed away. Living in dad’s economy under his authority was no longer desirable and the son wanted out. This son valued the inheritance but not the father who provided it. Esau took that disrespect one step further. Not only did he have no regard for his father, he didn’t care about his dad’s legacy either. As the elder son, this would have been an even direr mistake. And since he didn’t value the birthright, the extra portion of Isaac’s estate, he didn’t deserve the blessing that went along with it. When he inquires of Isaac in chapter 27 to give him a blessing also, it was too little too late.
4. Jacob didn’t get off too easy. In a similar manner in which he did the deceiving, he was also deceived. And out of that deception came two wives, two concubines, and 12 sons…sons that would become the 12 tribes of God’s chosen nation of Israel. Along with the wealth and prosperity and good fortune came incessant wrestling with the things of God and paranoid fear over encountering his wronged elder brother again. Amidst the struggle, the blessing was indeed real. It was the blessing of being “chosen.”
Malachi means “my messenger” and the last book of the Old Testament contains a message of God to the lax people of Israel who no longer regarded the ways of God in their lives. Malachi 1:2-3 contains a phrase that has come to divide Christians today with reference to doctrine of election. It reads, "I have loved you," says the LORD. "But you ask, 'How have you loved us?' "Was not Esau Jacob's brother?" the LORD says. "Yet I have loved Jacob, but Esau I have hated, and I have turned his mountains into a wasteland and left his inheritance to the desert jackals." We have a hard time with that word, hate. How can God hate someone? And moreover, how could He have decided that before they were born or before the “foundations” of the world? Malachi isn’t emphasizing hatred toward Esau, but love for Jacob. Isaac had two sons, twin brothers, but it was by one that God chose as his special chosen people, the nation of Israel. It was by one son, the younger, that He chose to offer his law, His word, His son, and Himself. “You want to know how much you are loved, Israel? I chose you. Isaac had two sons and you were the younger and I picked you. The older was stronger and obviously the favored, but I picked you. You’re who I love and who I want to make covenant with. I want to love you and fulfill promises to you and then make you the door by which the rest of the world can come to know me.” We’re those people you know, you and I. 1 Peter calls us the chosen race. Romans says we are adopted into this same chosen family. It’s not that God “hates” anyone else, but that he “loves” us so much. We’re the adopted siblings, the step-kids, the younger, weaker, not-favored ones. Yet God in his sovereignty chose us. Illustrating His great love for Israel, Malachi exclaims, “I picked you! How can you question my love?” How can we do that either…question the love of our great God. He picked us. He saved us. He picked us.