Happy Heavenly Birthday Tiffany!

Heaven. It's ethereal, yet substantive. It is not simply a concept or a figment of the active imaginations of man according to the Bible. Still, many wonder about it.

Scripture gives us glimpses of what Heaven is like, affirming its existence, detailing its magnificence, and assuring us that the same God who fashioned our breathtaking universe is its Creator. Every awe inspiring vision of majestic beauty that our human eyes have seen pales in comparison to what Heaven will be like, and each of the writers of scripture who tried to describe God's Heavenly preview, found human language inadequate to express its grandeur.

I am thinking a lot about Heaven today. Tiffany April Smith Pate will be celebrating her first Heavenly birthday tomorrow. I know in my heart that it will be a celebration unparalleled by any earthly party imaginable, but that does not take away the ache in the hearts of those who miss her so.

This morning, I read about a vision of Heaven in the 6th chapter of Isaiah. Reading Isaiah's description of God's holiness is stunning. Particularly fascinating is verse 3:
They were calling out to each other,
“Holy, holy, holy is the Lord of Heaven’s Armies!
The whole earth is filled with his glory!”

What a picture! I do believe that no eye has seen, no ear has heard and no mind has conceived the amazing things God has prepared for those who trust in Christ as Lord! There is a place, a purpose and a promise that we who have our "Tikvah"--our Hope--in Jesus can confidently believe for our future.

For Tiffany, that time is now. Happy Heavenly Birthday beautiful friend! I love you.

Red and White, Sin and Snow...

"After all we've done for you, this is the thanks we get?"

That question has been the cry of many bewildered parents as they've watched their children make devastatingly harmful choices. As a mother, my heart grieves for friends and loved ones who deal with rebellious adolescent and adult children, and I'm reminded as I read the first four chapters of Isaiah that God knows exactly what that pain feels like.

In Isaiah's time, the nation of Israel was in crisis. Assyria was poised to engulf them, and Judah faced threats from surrounding nations. It was during those perilous days that Isaiah spoke to Israel and Judah, warning them of what was in store if they did not recognize the error of their ways and return to God.

Through Isaiah, God expressed His contempt for their meaningless expressions of ritualistic religiosity because He recognized the vast contrast between the actions of his people and the actual condition of their hearts. Maybe He was thinking, "After all I've done for you...".

I cannot improve on Isaiah's words and they need no explanation. My prayer is that God will never turn His ears from me or those I love because of empty religion or rebellion, and that we will heed His challenge to care for widows, orphans and the oppressed because just as in the day of this bold prophet, there is a hurting world out there that needs to know our living, forgiving God.

Isaiah 1:

11 “What makes you think I want all your sacrifices?”
says the Lord.
“I am sick of your burnt offerings of rams
and the fat of fattened cattle.
I get no pleasure from the blood
of bulls and lambs and goats.
12 When you come to worship me,
who asked you to parade through my courts with all your ceremony?
13 Stop bringing me your meaningless gifts;
the incense of your offerings disgusts me!
As for your celebrations of the new moon and the Sabbath
and your special days for fasting—
they are all sinful and false.
I want no more of your pious meetings.
14 I hate your new moon celebrations and your annual festivals.
They are a burden to me. I cannot stand them!
15 When you lift up your hands in prayer, I will not look.
Though you offer many prayers, I will not listen,
for your hands are covered with the blood of innocent victims.
16 Wash yourselves and be clean!
Get your sins out of my sight.
Give up your evil ways.
17 Learn to do good.
Seek justice.
Help the oppressed.
Defend the cause of orphans.
Fight for the rights of widows.
18 “Come now, let’s settle this,”
says the Lord.
“Though your sins are like scarlet,
I will make them as white as snow.
Though they are red like crimson,
I will make them as white as wool.

Today~

I am...

consumed
overwhelmed
perplexed
amazed

certain
confused
secure
unafraid

what is this? my survival
depends on a love that has no rival

baffled
surrounded
inspired
impressed

hopeful
peaceful
prayerful
caressed

what is this? words don't suffice
love supernatural, its source gives me life

intrigued
entranced
steadfast
unbothered

speechless
exposed
Heavenly Fathered

what is this? a gentle embrace
speaks to my questions with sweet, saving grace.

Where is Tiffany Pate? Let me just tell you...

One of my dearest friends, Christa Pratt, was unable to attend Tiffany's memorial service because she and her family had flown to Pennsylvania for spring break to spend time with family.

Christa was one of Tiffany's most loyal friends and prayer warriors. When I told her that I'd be speaking at the service, she sent me some of her thoughts hoping to encourage me as I prayed and prepared for that difficult evening.

This morning I was thinking about Tiffany, her boys, and Brian, and I returned to Christa's note for comfort as I have many times since April 4th. Because what she shared offers such a vivid reminder of where Tiffany is and what she is experiencing now, I am sharing it here so that others like me who are missing her today might be reminded of the hope we have in Christ's promise of eternal life that is beyond our comprehension in terms of its magnificence.

So thank you Christa, your words are precious and beautiful and you have helped me remember that Tiffany is enjoying unimaginable sights, incredible joy and perfect healing.

Thoughts about Tiffany
by Christa Pratt

I am here -
Feeling the warm sun on my face
But you have seen the Son, whose face warms all of heaven

Listening to the birds sing
But you have heard the singing of the heavenly hosts as they sing "Glory to God in the highest."

Hearing the soft roar of traffic on asphalt road
But you are walking streets of gold

Watching families reunite
But you are reuniting with friends and families long and dearly missed.

Feeling the spring breeze on my back
But you have felt the wind of the Holy Spirit unhindered by sin and this fallen world.

Missing you in the space of this moment
But you have seen the length, breadth, and depth of eternity

Seeing through a veil dimly, questioning why you had to go
But you have seen Him face to face with clarity and understanding

Remembering your passion, love and fire
But you are hearing "Well done my good and faithful servant."

Knowing that one day all who mourn you will be with you once more.

Amen, Christa. She is there basking in the light of His glory and one day soon, we will see her and Him!

You Can't Make This Up...

Yesterday, it occurred to me that I really needed to read, pray and study so that I could get back to my writing. I have done a lot of praying since losing Tiffany, but only a little reading and less studying, and I've learned from experience that my good habits are easily broken and bad ones are easily established. So, my intention was to have some quality quiet time when I got home from work and I was determined that nothing would undermine my plan. But then...

When I pulled into my driveway I thought to myself, hmmm, that new hammock of George's would be a great place to read since it's such a gorgeous afternoon. Sounds nice so far, right?


I poured myself a glass of ice water, slathered sunscreen on my paper white legs, and positioned my beach towel on the hammock perfectly. After sitting sideways with my feet on the ground for a few minutes, I decided that I was going to recline in the hammock properly, so I slowly (and I emphasize slowly here) eased my way around, only to be flipped like a hamburger onto the pavement (exactly like something you'd see in a cartoon or on America's Funniest Home Videos). Fortunately, there was no camera unless Google Earth caught the show.

A bruised knee, toe and forehead later, I was undaunted. In my mind, the stupid unstretched hammock had met its match. So, I brushed myself off, dabbed up a little bit of blood, and started again. This time, I proceeded even more cautiously and balanced myself perfectly in the center of the hammock with great success. The breeze was blowing, the sun was shining, my toe, foot and head were stinging, but otherwise all was perfect. I was enjoying God's Word in God's world and it was a wonderful thing. For about three minutes.


Something landed on my stomach--at first I believed it to be a wayward sprig from the massive oak overhead--but upon inspection I discovered that it was a yellow jacket. Now I don't freak out or panic over bees, but I don't love them either, so I gently tried to swat Mr. Bee away. But instead of flying to another spot, he decided to fly south--down between me and the hammock--specifically my derriere and the hammock.

At that point, I realized that I again needed to exit the hammock or risk a bee sting on the butt. Neither one a desirable option, the only way I could ensure that I didn't squish him (guaranteeing a sting) was to again propel myself out of the hammock in rolling fashion. So yes, it happened twice, first by accident, second by choice, and I was not happy.

Still, I was determined to continue my study so I made the decision to move to one of the lounge chairs opposite the hammock. The adjacent umbrella needed to be moved because the afternoon sun was now beaming directly onto the chairs, so as I tried to roll it around, I knocked over a newly potted plant that my gardener extraordinaire (George) had just lovingly placed between the two chaises.



As I scooped handfuls of potting soil back into the pot in my lame attempt to rescue the plant (that was broken at the stem) my mind was racing. I am either the world's #1 klutz or this is some kind of cosmic joke or somebody really did not want me to study the Word or all of the above or maybe there is a hidden camera and I'm the brunt of a not so funny to me joke or .... you get the picture.

By this point, it wasn't going to be long before George would be home from work and ready to know what was for dinner. But first, I was going to wash away the remaining dirt that I couldn't scoop with my hands so when I shared my afternoon's misadventures with my husband I could add that even though I killed the plant, I had cleaned up my mess. But that is where my final mishap of the afternoon takes place. I walked barefoot over to the spigot where the garden hose was attached and stepped on some sort of mean, mean bug with teeth. Yes, I did.

So...all this to say that I plan to resume my chronological Bible study reading and writing soon, but yesterday was not my day.

Celebrating Tiffany Pate, part two

For the benefit of those who were unable to attend Tiffany's Memorial Service, I am importing the thoughts I shared last night in tribute to her legacy. I hope as you read this, you will be inspired to go and do likewise. There is no better way for us to honor her memory and celebrate her life!

Tiffany April Smith Pate Memorial Tribute

My name is Sandy Broome and Tiffany Pate was my friend. But not just any friend, she was a friend with whom I shared a bond that transcended the ordinary, ours was a spiritual kinship.

Last week, as we watched, waited and prayed at the hospital, Brian shared with me that Tiffany had requested that if God called her home, she wanted me to speak at her memorial service.

Brian, Landon, Ridge, family, and friends, I could not be more honored or humbled to have the opportunity to share a few thoughts about one of the most courageous, amazing women I’ve ever had the privilege of knowing.

In 1996, a young woman I’d worked in youth ministry with named Jennifer Dowell mentioned that she had some girlfriends who wanted to get together to study the Bible but they needed a leader and asked if I’d consider teaching them. Tiffany was one of the girls who joined the group and almost from the start she challenged me with her deep, contemplative questions, her hunger to find and know truth, and her quest to discover more of what life in relationship with Christ was all about.

It seemed that for Tiffany, the more she learned, the greater her hunger to know more. Often, she called me with questions that I’d never even considered, so we’d dig in to scripture and discuss God’s Word for hours.

But Tiffany wasn’t just a learner or hearer, she took literally the admonition of James 1:22 which says: But be doers of the word, and not hearers only… In every aspect of her life, Tiffany looked to God’s Word for her direction.

As a young wife she called me with questions about how to please God in terms of relating to Brian. When Landon and Ridge came along, she wanted to be certain beyond any doubt that she was a “doer of the word” as a mother.

As a daughter, Tiffany wanted to honor her father and her mother and it was the same with every relationship—if it pleased God and was scriptural, that was the path she chose.

Now as I say all that, I also know that Tiffany would be devastated to think that I (or anyone) would put her on a pedestal because she was nothing if not unassuming and humble. I can recall numerous conversations that revolved around the difference between conviction that genuinely comes from God and condemnation that comes from man or our enemy Satan. Tiffany’s concern about whether she pleased God was rare and beautiful. And that brings me to a point that I know she would want me to make tonight: She did not want any glory, she only wanted to glorify her Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

And that is exactly what her legacy is all about. She lived for him and she died in Him, and tonight, we who are grieving the loss of one of the rarest of the rare, celebrate a life that was lived the way we all should live—in light of eternity.

Tiffany lived every day intentionally and she taught me—her supposed teacher—many, many things.

She embodied the essence of selfless love and compassionate concern. I could share for hours about specific times that Tiffany did something sacrificially generous for me or someone in my family.

But she didn’t simply bless and reach out to people she knew, Tiffany loved and cared about everyone that God put in her path. Brian told me that one night as their family was walking into a restaurant, a homeless man approached them and he quickly darted by without making eye contact. He and the boys got inside the restaurant and turned around and Tiffany wasn’t with them. He went back outside and found her inviting the homeless person to have dinner with their family. Tiffany loved the lonely, the lost, and the forgotten and she demonstrated it by her actions as a doer of the Word.

Amanda, Tiffany’s little sister, lost her first tooth when Tiffany was probably around 13 years old. That night, afraid that the tooth fairy would forget, Tiffany took $5 of her own money and placed it under Amanda’s pillow while she was sleeping. The next morning, Amanda, thrilled to find a hefty sum for her tooth was running around shouting about her new found riches only to learn that there really must be a tooth fairy since Tiffany had only left $5 and there was a good deal more under that pillow! Tiffany loved her parents, sisters and brother, and she demonstrated it by her actions as a doer of the Word.

Pam, Tiffany’s mother, was keeping Landon and Ridge a few weeks ago and it happened to be St. Patrick’s Day eve. Late that night, one of the boys casually asked when the Leprechaun was coming to bring their candy, sending Pam and Buddy into “uh oh” mode! I’m told that it wasn’t uncommon to see green Leprechaun footprints that had left a trail from the back door of their house up the cabinet and right to the candy that he left for the boys each year in March… so just imagine other holidays at the Pate house if so much attention was paid to St. Patrick’s Day!

On April 28, 2004 Tiffany wrote in her Bible these words:
My greatest struggle in life is allowing myself to release my children completely to God’s Will. I worry for them and their future constantly. One day, my hope is that I will sincerely realize that God’s plan and will for their lives is far greater than anything I could ever provide for them on earth. My job is to believe this with all my heart and provide them with guidance that will lead them to God’s feet so that one day they may choose God’s will for their lives of their own free will. May God help me on this journey as I search for this peace! One day I hope to release my children to God and mean it with all my heart!

About a year ago she said to me: Sandy, I finally get it! My children are better off in God’s arms than on my lap. Tiffany loved her children, and she demonstrated it by her actions as a doer of the word.

Tiffany called me a several years ago and announced that she was going to go back to school to get another degree. When I asked her about it, she said she wanted to be a nurse, something she’d always dreamed of doing because it was a way to serve and care for people and it would allow her to help supplement the family income so that Brian wouldn’t have to work day and night to provide for the family. She never failed to brag on Brian, what an amazing provider, husband and father he was, and how much she wanted to bless him. She loved her Husband and she demonstrated it by her actions as a doer of the Word.

So, why all this emphasis on Tiffany’s actions? Because her actions were a result of her faith. She was compelled by her love for Jesus to care, to give, to serve and to love.

When she was diagnosed with cancer, she told me that if this was God’s plan for her life so that someone would be touched by God’s amazing grace, it would be worth whatever that meant for her future. Do you have that kind of peace? Do you understand that depth of love?

In order to have peace like Tiffany, we first have to understand truth. We have to know what God has to say about life and what God has to say about death. Tiffany wanted everyone she knew to have knowledge and understanding of God’s Word. She took advantage of every feasible opportunity to participate in Bible Studies, and many of you were in those studies with her through the years.

Those of us fortunate enough to have studied God's Word with her represent a small segment of the total number of the individuals who would love to share something amazing about an experience with Tiffany and with God.

But let’s face it, as much as so many of us love the Lord, as fully as we trust Him, and as confident as we are in Romans 8:28, it totally stinks that Tiffany’s cancer did not end as so many of us prayed –with miraculous physical healing. Like many of you, I begged the Lord to leave her here on earth with her family and with us.

My prayer partners and I fasted, praying scripture verses and asking for her healing daily, sometimes hourly. We prayed Psalm 91, 1 Peter 2, Isaiah 55, Matthew 8, Exodus 15, and many others, asking God to mercifully grant our request for her life to be extended.

Two weeks ago, when her fragile body seemed to be deteriorating so rapidly as the cancer spread, Christa Pratt and I began to focus our prayers on a particular passage in John 11.

One of Jesus’ dearest friends, Lazarus, was very sick and near death. His sisters, Mary and Martha, sent out a desperate plea for Jesus to come and help. I imagine that knowing how much he claimed to love them, they were waiting by the window, anticipating that He would get there in the nick of time to save their beloved brother. If you’re familiar with the account, you know that was not the case and Lazarus died, but after his burial, Jesus finally arrived and called him up out of the grave.

Seeing precious Tiffany so weakened and ill, Christa and I camped out on verse 4 which reads: When he heard this, Jesus said, "This sickness will not end in death. No, it is for God's glory so that God's Son may be glorified through it."

Like many of you, we believed that God was going to show up just like he did for Lazarus and do something that would have no human explanation. So…could he have? Yes. Definitely! Absolutely! Without a shadow of a doubt He could have-- because He is the same today and tomorrow as yesterday according to Hebrews 13:8.

So why didn’t He? And what will that do to our faith? I hope if you’ve asked yourself those questions, you’ll allow me to tell you what I think Tiffany would want us to know.

First, her faith in and love for God compelled her to pray as Jesus did before His crucifixion when he said if there is any other way Father, let this suffering pass from me, nevertheless, not my will but yours be done.

It’s an incorrect view of scripture to think that we will always comprehend what God is doing or how suffering or disappointment fit into His big picture. We are not prohibited from “trying” to understand, but Proverbs 3 surely reminds us that we aren’t to LEAN on our ability to make the pieces fit. Reducing something as heartbreaking as losing a person like Tiffany to simplistic platitudes like, “God needed another flower for his heavenly garden,” must break the heart of God if he indeed is a LOVING Heavenly Father!

Tiffany confided in me that her only remaining fear was that if she didn’t beat this cancer, it might diminish someone’s faith in God’s greatness. What she wanted us to know is that she understood that we may not be able to explain all the heartache that happens in this imperfect, fallen world, but our soon coming, Sovereign Lord will one day end all suffering, all sickness, and all injustice, and He will set all accounts straight! But most of all, He can be trusted.

Written by her own hand in her Bible, dated April 28, 2004, are these words:
My hope is based on my sincere belief that God sent his Son, Jesus Christ, to die for my sins. Through Christ’s resurrection, I know that my future holds eternal life. I can find hope and joy in each day because I know that I was born to serve a purpose in God’s perfect will and all of the circumstances I face in my life on earth though good or bad, serve a greater purpose for God! In Jeremiah 29:11 God promises me that He knows his plan for me—Hope and a future! When we walk as children of the light, darkness cannot prevail!

When Tiffany learned that she had cancer, she had a sign made for her car that read: My God is bigger than cancer, and she believed that with every fiber of her being. As this battle began, she also shared that God had given her a Hebrew word that she knew was His special message to her. The word, Tikvah, means “HOPE, waiting in expectation!” Thanks to her friend Holly Stokes, the word Tikvah and its definition, written in Tiffany’s own handwriting, has been copied on cards for each of us to take home as a reminder of Tiffany’s steadfast expectancy and hopeful faith!

Her Tikvah--her hope-- was built on the solid foundation of her faith walk with Jesus Christ. Tiffany wasn’t religious, she was in a life changing relationship with Jesus! She lived the way we all should, for His Glory alone.

Think about it, we are here only for a moment. Our REAL life (the life we are in dress rehearsal for while we’re on the earth) lasts for all eternity. Tiffany believed ALL of God’s Word including 1 Corinthians 2:9 which reads: “No eye has seen, no ear has heard, no mind has conceived what God has prepared for those who love him.”

For Tiffany, the dress rehearsal is over and her REAL LIFE has begun. She is where she was preparing to go for as long as I’ve known her, and she wants us to know that her HOPE is realized! She has heard The Savior speak her name and welcome her home, and she’s waiting expectantly (with Tikvah) for us, you and me, in heaven. Will she see you there? If you aren’t sure, see me and let’s talk! Until then, Tikvah, Tiffany! This separation is only temporary and I’ll see you soon my precious friend!

Celebrating the Life of Tiffany Pate

Tonight, I have finally composed myself and my thoughts enough to write a short note about one of the greatest, most precious women I have ever known. Tiffany Pate was not just my friend, she was my sister in Christ, and I will never be the same as a result of having known her.

I will save the things I most want to say about her for Monday night at her memorial service because she requested that I speak at her funeral if God called her home, but the beautiful thing is that for the most part, Tiffany will speak for herself. I will only be her mouthpiece because she didn't just leave behind adoring family and friends, she left behind volumes of writings and scripture passage notes that express her heart and I could not be more honored or humbled to have the privilege of sharing with all who gather what Tiffany had discovered.

Her life and legacy deserve to be celebrated and commemorated in the most special way possible, so I wanted to post the arrangements here for anyone who visits this page and is able to join her family for the service.

Tiffany's Memorial Service will be Monday night, April 5, at 7 p.m., at Flint Groves Baptist Church in Gastonia, NC.

I can't help but marvel at the timing of Tiff's homegoing. As we celebrate this resurrection Sunday, it's comforting to know that because He lives, so does she!

Tikvah, Tiffany Tikvah!